Sunday, October 16, 2016

...and the pursuit of human decency

"there's no difference between trump and clinton."
~ a former colleague mansplaining politics to two intelligent women
big mistake, dude.

evidently you've managed to convince yourself hillary clinton and donald trump are equivalent "because they both lie."

in doing so, you proudly flaunt your horrific failure of judgment.

you have a wife and daughter, right? 

so, let me ask you, would you feel safe leaving either of them alone in a room with trump? 

more importantly, do you think they would feel safe?

if you're honest, the answer to both questions is "no." 

cynically stating there's no difference between the confessed sex offender and the flawed candidate who has spent years fighting for women's rights (while fighting her own battles against misogyny), demeans the women in your life. 

worse, your failure to differentiate between them actually increases the chance the women you care about will be physically assaulted by men who share trump's view that women are just a collection of body parts to be rated and grabbed, whenever.

it comes to this: i wouldn't allow my daughter in your home.

Monday, September 19, 2016

think fast

i'm not fast.

but once in a while i feel fast, and that's almost the same thing.

saturday was one of those days.

in addition to a rare top-10 finish, i had an even rarer negative split in the second half of the race. 

which is to say i covered the first 6.1 miles in ~59 minutes, and the final 7.2 miles at a faster-pace ~1:03:30.

i'll take that any day.

paradise valley half marathon:


8/55 (overall)
1/3 (M 50-59)

altra lone peak 3.0

song stuck in my head the entire time: "funknroll" ~ prince

other uninteresting notes said there was a 100% chance of precipitation before and during the race. they were half-right. it poured while we were standing around waiting for the start. but by race time, the rain was pretty much over. regardless, there was a lot of ponding on the trails. after daintily skipping around the first few puddles (as always), i went through the middle the rest of the way. once your feet are wet, they're wet® after all.

the "i don't fall down" lone peak 3.0.
runners were falling down all over the place. wet rocks/roots and non-grippy shoes are a tough combination. the LP 3.0s were having none of that. i never even slipped, let alone fell. if you're looking for a wet/winter shoe, these will treat you well for distances up to (and probably beyond) 50k.

they're also great for non-rainy and technical terrain. i mean, obviously.

oh! there was a bear warning at the trailhead. "bears recently sighted nearby," or words to that effect. if there were, in fact, bears nearby they at least had the good sense not to come out in the rain.

many thanks to the proprietors and volunteers at northwest trail runs. this was a fun track and a fine inaugural event at the paradise valley conservation area. always good to find new places to run!

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

earthy goodness

not my smoothie. my smoothie was neither art-directed 
nor sprinkled with paprika.
today's smoothie tastes good, but it smells a little earthy...

organic frozen mixed berries
organic frozen mango
organic banana
organic canned pumpkin
peach slices
peanut butter w flax & chia seeds
plain goat yogurt
coconut water

i'm pretty sure it's the pumpkin giving it the mushroomy, french bordeaux nose. or maybe the peanut butter. or the combination thereof. 

regardless, if this concoction doesn't get me past a 10:30 a.m. urge to eat canada, i don't know what will.


1125 hours: i'm not hungry yet. colleagues are breathing a collective sigh of relief.

Monday, September 12, 2016

blend grind liquify frappé

representative smoothie. your smoothie may vary.
see your own damn smoothie for details.
today's smoothie:

organic banana
organic+home-grown apple
organic mango
organic yogurt
organic açai purée
organic mint leaves
pineapple juice


personal note

for years my weekday breakfast routine consisted of coffee, fresh fruit, and a protein bar. this combination always got the job done, but recently began to feel, uh, deeply unsatisfying. i needed a change. 

this may take some fine-tuning, but if today's smoothie is any indication, i'm well on my way to living forever.


0930 hours: i am famished. why? my smoothie totaled up to almost 20 oz. if i ate/drank all its ingredients individually, i'm pretty sure i'd feel unbearably full. more research required. 

1030 hours: am prepared to eat my own arm, or a passing colleague. there must be a combination of ingredients that will compose a healthy and longer-lasting smoothie. this weekend's grocery run may be expensive.

1130 hours: "hangry" is an actual thing. must remember not to conference call when "hangry." even if some colleagues deserve to be beaten with their own dismembered arm(s). after which i will eat said arm(s).

1155 hours: i have a paralyzing's possible i may have waited too long to eat lunch. also, it's likely too late to steal the lunches in the break room refrigerator, as surely some colleagues will be gathering there. it may be best if i leave the office now.

1230 hours: just spent $31 at one of the local food trucks. the missus will not be pleased.

1240 hours: after eating just one of my lunches i am unbearably full. why?? (and not-for-nothing, what am i going to do with the rest of these lunches??)

1440 hours: still full. so as not to waste them, i will put my additional lunches up for grabs in the lunchroom.

1638 hours: famished. additional lunches are long-gone, swarmed by locusts disguised as colleagues. apparently they thought i was serious when i offered them my extra food. may have to revert to previous plan of eating one of them.

i may have passed out from hunger. because suddenly it's time to head for home and dinner, which i will make myself from all the things in the house. as far as i know, no colleagues were cannibalized.
it took two years to drag our smoothie maker from the depths of the pantry into the light of day. loving wife asked why it took me so long to get around to using it. 

i don't know...apparently i just wasn't ready.

i'm ready now.

Wednesday, September 07, 2016

moving forward

representative kitchen. your kitchen may vary.
see your kitchen for details.
"we are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.” 
charles bukowski
we're making some changes around here.

it starts in the master bathroom. instead of standing on subflooring and moving-blankets, we're now standing on heated ceramic tile. we figured nearly three years of the former was long enough. 

fine print: there's also a new shower, new (old-but-restored) clawfoot tub, and new double vanity. so we can see how tired we look in not one but two mirrors. 

new washer and dryer. this washer actually gets stuff clean.

moving on to the living room, we now have built-in cabinetry to store (hide) stuff. also, a big wine rack. i may have buried the lede in the previous sentences. because, wine.

in the kitchen, i recently began using the ninja smoothie maker i received as a christmas gift two years ago. turns out i like smoothies. and there are recipes.

after getting grossed out by the coffee maker purchased three years ago, i've moved on to a french press. it'll get cleaned every day, as opposed to once in three years. also, after some trial and error, the new thing makes good coffee.

other recent and/or proposed changes: 
the missus has a new job. now with more travel! yay? 

the girl begins her sophomore year of high school today. now with new start-times! instead of a manageable 7:45 a.m. drop-off, it's now 8:45. how this is remotely workable for working parents, i have no idea.

the boy is (allegedly) going to join the navy. we've seen no steps toward this goal thus far, but one thing is certain: he won't be living at home playing video games.

i stopped eating potato chips for a while.

that's about it for now. tune in next week for another episode of "omg, seriously? i want the last sixty seconds of my life back, jerk!"

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

peak outrage

“i don't know about other people, but when i wake up in the morning and put my shoes on, i think, jesus christ, now what?”
~charles bukowski
just when you think you can't be more outraged by the very existence of the gop presidential nominee, you accidently glance at the day's headlines and realize you were wrong.

we've reached a point in our little experiment in democracy where the republican candidate for president can overtly threaten gun violence against his political opponent and somehow stay in the race.

we've reached a point where, instead of spurning their out-of-control candidate, elected gop officials insist he was joking.

note to apologists: this is not how decent people behave.

to review: 

during the gop national convention (if by "convention" you mean "dumpster fire stoked by angry, unintelligible mob"), delegates chanted "jail her," "kill her," and other christian-y, family values things.

one of the candidate's advisors (a new hampshire state representative) said the political opponent should be shot for treason.

the nominee and his campaign manager (if by "campaign manager" you mean soul-dead driver of the spiritual hearse) sought to delegitimize their opponent's certain victory in november by claiming the election is rigged.

and, most recently, the candidate said that a victory by his opponent would be so horrible, "second amendment people" might have to do something about her.

this, as thomas friedman writes, is how people get killed.

note to apologists II: you can't have it both ways.

establishment republicans can't say they love america and endorse this nominee.
conservative christians can't proclaim they love jesus but will vote for this heretic.
flag-wavers can't wrap themselves in the constitution and say this guy will defend it.

at this point, there are no more lines to cross.
"if she gets to pick, if she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks. although the second amendment people, maybe there is, i don't know."
~ the leader of today's gop 

Monday, August 01, 2016

bonk #WR50

the volcano abides.
"hey, how did your race go?!"
"not so great. i had to drop down to the marathon distance."
"um...there's no marathon distance at white river."
"now you tell me..."
some days you're the wind shield. some days you're the guy who starts his race report with a metaphor.

today, i'm that guy.

the stomach trouble started very early (mile 15), and i decided it was because i downed a gel at about mile 13. i've sworn off gels, mostly, on the theory that they make me want to puke.

still, feeling a little depleted by the long first climb at white river, surely i could get away with one harmless huma.


by the time i got to the corral pass aid station (mile 16.9) i was in full-on damage control mode. 
stomach: bad.
fuel levels: bad.
running form: bad.
overall status: bad.

i ate as much real food as i could handle at the AS, telling myself it would flip me upright over the next couple miles. that the bad was temporary and the good was still ahead. that soon i would be floating along in the zone whilst the miles flew by.


didn't happen.

the next 11 miles were an exercise in almost-but-not-quite puking, nearly tripping over all the rocks and roots, and a shameful failure to enjoy a perfect running day.

but the first 15 miles, man...the course was spectacular, temperatures were in the 60s, and i was cruising along easily with friends. life was good.


question without an answer: why was i carrying gels at all?
answer: because i'm an idiot (how 'bout that, there was an answer after all).

by the time i got to the aid station at buck creek (mile 27.2), there was no question what would happen next. spotting some nice people around a clip board, i walked over and said, "i resign."

i must've looked pretty sour, because none of them tried to talk me out of it.

and just like that, i registered my first DNF.
over the next several minutes i walked back to my car, cleaned myself up, and changed clothes.

not long after that my friend ian and i plopped ourselves down in chairs by the finish line and waited to cheer on our friends. 

eventually this bad day became a good day because lots of our friends were running and all of them finished.

in the big scheme of things, that's all that matters (well, that, and "NO MORE GELS EVER").

congrats, friends.
white river 50 mile


pearl-izumi trail n2, v3

song stuck in my head while i was still feeling good: 
"when i stop dreaming" ~ don henley