equivocal options

"we get the government we deserve."

"¡mira, mira! ¡alla, viene la tormenta!"
"what did he just say?"
"he said there's a storm coming."
"...i know."
***********
no matter how it goes in the coming election, it seems unlikely to go well for america.

one of the presumptive nominees is an obvious, vulgar train wreck ~ a train loaded with anger and racism and misogyny and insolence. he is unfit to represent a cesspit, let alone a country that loudly proclaims "exceptionalism."

but by now there's no doubt he represents millions.

the other flaunts a remarkable résumé ~ the arc of her career is fraught with achievement and qualifications. but in important ways she seems less a democrat and more a corporate proxy. her carefully calculated public persona does not inspire and she is not easy to trust. when epitomizing "the leader of the free world," these are not qualities that leap to mind.

it seems impossible that the former could even be nominated, let alone win the presidency. but the closer we get to november, the more ominous and destructive that prospect becomes.

it seems impossible that the latter is the best a "progressive" party ~ representing the better angels and higher aspirations of our national community ~ could offer up in opposition.

no matter who wins, the losing side will pursue a scorched earth policy to cripple the victor. no matter who wins, years of escalating social and political fracture will follow.

as one who grew up believing in an america where "...the poor are not oppressed and the rich are not privileged," it's tempting to say, "we're better than this."

that sentiment is increasingly difficult to believe.

engage (or, 65 days to #WR50)

until yesterday i was idly thinking about signing up for some summer races.

and, until yesterday i was having a hard time actually getting anything on my calendar.

then, yesterday, the nice folks at the white river 50 moved everyone on the 2016 wait list to the "you're in!" list.

i'm no longer idly thinking about summer races. 

today my calendar says: 
may 28 ~ soaring eagle 13.1
june 5 ~ teanaway 26.2
and...
july 30 ~ white river 50 mile

also under consideration: 
june 25 ~ taylor mountain 50k
july 10 ~ white river corral pass loop 27.2

there will be many training miles in addition to these events. obviously.

but while i started training 22 weeks ahead of the #gw100k, today we're t-minus 65 days to #WR50.

don't know what i'm thinking.

gotta run.

welcome back, plodder

me, now. earlier, not so much.

"to be on the wire is life. the rest...is waiting."

~ joe gideon, "all that jazz"
***********
i'm back.

it took the better part of a month, but i'm finally fully recovered from #gw100k.

which is to say, my energy is back to pre-race levels, i have spring in my legs, and my head is on straight again. as straight as it ever is, i suppose.

i was getting (a little) worried. ten days post-race, dragging myself from the car to the office, i literally said out-loud, "come ON, enough is enough." no, it wasn't.

trying to engage in what passes for an active recovery, i barely kept up during group runs, barely stayed awake during daylight hours, and barely felt coherent when my eyes were open.

i ate everything in sight, but it had little effect, other than to make my clothes fit a little tighter.

friends who also ran #gw100k, meanwhile, were tearing up the trails like it was nothing. "a hundred k? ho hum, NBD. who's ready for hill repeats?"

yeah, that was a little demoralizing.

having said that, i fully recognize that everyone recovers differently. and that bouncing back from a 100k with 12,000 feet of climbing takes time (for most people). still, after a week i was ready to be recovered.

after two and a half weeks, i made an appointment for a physical, just to make sure i hadn't permanently depleted myself. or something.

the bad news: i was unable to get in right away. the good news: in the interim, i pulled myself back together.

which is to say running and writing and staying awake feel good again. they're things i want to do, rather than feel like i should do.

so, walking into the doctor's office i can say, "i ran a long race, which made me tired. i'm not tired any more. nice to see you. buh-bye."
***********
update: the doctor agrees with my assessment: i'm fine. so healthy, in fact, that i don't have to go back for three years.

{scurries off to ultrasignup.com to fill up the rest of 2016.}
***********
"it's show time, folks."

~ joe gideon, redux