peak outrage

“i don't know about other people, but when i wake up in the morning and put my shoes on, i think, jesus christ, now what?”
~charles bukowski
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just when you think you can't be more outraged by the very existence of the gop presidential nominee, you accidently glance at the day's headlines and realize you were wrong.

we've reached a point in our little experiment in democracy where the republican candidate for president can overtly threaten gun violence against his political opponent and somehow stay in the race.

we've reached a point where, instead of spurning their out-of-control candidate, elected gop officials insist he was joking.

note to apologists: this is not how decent people behave.

to review: 

during the gop national convention (if by "convention" you mean "dumpster fire stoked by angry, unintelligible mob"), delegates chanted "jail her," "kill her," and other christian-y, family values things.

one of the candidate's advisors (a new hampshire state representative) said the political opponent should be shot for treason.

the nominee and his campaign manager (if by "campaign manager" you mean soul-dead driver of the spiritual hearse) sought to delegitimize their opponent's certain victory in november by claiming the election is rigged.

and, most recently, the candidate said that a victory by his opponent would be so horrible, "second amendment people" might have to do something about her.

this, as thomas friedman writes, is how people get killed.

note to apologists II: you can't have it both ways.

establishment republicans can't say they love america and endorse this nominee.
conservative christians can't proclaim they love jesus but will vote for this heretic.
flag-wavers can't wrap themselves in the constitution and say this guy will defend it.

at this point, there are no more lines to cross.

"if she gets to pick, if she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks. although the second amendment people, maybe there is, i don't know."

~ the leader of today's gop 

bonk #WR50

the volcano abides.

"hey, how did your race go?!"
"not so great. i had to drop down to the marathon distance."
"um...there's no marathon distance at white river."
"now you tell me..."
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some days you're the wind shield. some days you're the guy who starts his race report with a metaphor.

today, i'm that guy.

the stomach trouble started very early (mile 15), and i decided it was because i downed a gel at about mile 13. i've sworn off gels, mostly, on the theory that they make me want to puke.

still, feeling a little depleted by the long first climb at white river, surely i could get away with one harmless huma.

ha! 

by the time i got to the corral pass aid station (mile 16.9) i was in full-on damage control mode. 
stomach: bad.
fuel levels: bad.
running form: bad.
overall status: bad.

i ate as much real food as i could handle at the AS, telling myself it would flip me upright over the next couple miles. that the bad was temporary and the good was still ahead. that soon i would be floating along in the zone whilst the miles flew by.

ha!

didn't happen.

the next 11 miles were an exercise in almost-but-not-quite puking, nearly tripping over all the rocks and roots, and a shameful failure to enjoy a perfect running day.

but the first 15 miles, man...the course was spectacular, temperatures were in the 60s, and i was cruising along easily with friends. life was good.

then?

question without an answer: why was i carrying gels at all?
answer: because i'm an idiot (how 'bout that, there was an answer after all).

by the time i got to the aid station at buck creek (mile 27.2), there was no question what would happen next. spotting some nice people around a clip board, i walked over and said, "i resign."

i must've looked pretty sour, because none of them tried to talk me out of it.

and just like that, i registered my first DNF.
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over the next several minutes i walked back to my car, cleaned myself up, and changed clothes.

not long after that my friend ian and i plopped ourselves down in chairs by the finish line and waited to cheer on our friends. 

eventually this bad day became a good day because lots of our friends were running and all of them finished.

in the big scheme of things, that's all that matters (well, that, and "NO MORE GELS EVER").

congrats, friends.
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white river 50 mile

DNF

shoes:

pearl-izumi trail n2, v3

song stuck in my head while i was still feeling good: 

"when i stop dreaming" ~ don henley