|attributed to arthur ashe, who may have |
cribbed it from teddy roosevelt, but whatever.
it definitely didn't originate with a parent,
because it's way too calm and zen-like.
which means she's no longer working from home and simultaneously keeping an eye on things there. like kids. and dogs. and other random acts of senselessness.
now we both work on the other side of town, which for the last seven years i've referred to as "the other side of the planet." because not only is it far from home, but it feels disconnected from home. in a way that phone calls and texts and emails can't bridge.
"the dog threw up? tsk, bummer, babe."
"the girl threw up? tsk, sorry to hear it, babe."
"there's a pack of rabid zombies roaming the neighborhood? tsk, drive away fast, babe."
see? no matter what was happening, i was completely unable to contribute anything helpful. i didn't like that feeling. still don't.
and now the missus understands. today, four days into the new gig, she called to tell me she feels like she's lost touch with what's going on at the house. i empathized. and added unnecessarily, "welcome to my world for the last seven years." i don't think she found that helpful, either.
we get that. and, let's face it, we've made our choices. a house in seattle? check. food for a menagerie of semi-sentient beings? done. wine? uh, yeah and lots of it, please.
these things come at a cost ~ emotional, physical, spiritual ~ that we've been willing to pay for a long time. and will continue to pay, apparently. will we look at each other one day and say, "it was all worth it" or "i'd do it all again"? no, seriously, i'm asking...will we? because, standing here today i think it could go either way.
just for fun, let's entertain the prospect that one day we will look back and say, "what were we thinking?" wait, we're already asking that! ha ha again! twenty years to retirement (assuming we ever get to retire) and we're doubting the fundamental decisions of our life! what does this mean? how did we get here? what have we done?
no, seriously asking. again.
never mind. doesn't matter. what's done is done. the fact that we're posing the question is a sign of a healthy appreciation of what's important and what we want going forward. it's not a sign of an actual analysis of those things, mind you, because, uh, still no idea. but at least we're asking!
truthfully, we are now more than ever listening to the inner voices ~ emotional, physical, spiritual ~ that we've shushed for so long. it won't be easy, appeasing all the constituencies ~ especially from the other side of the planet. but we're telling each other we're going to try.
"start where you are. use what you have. do what you can."
so simple. how hard can it possibly be?
(note: i know the answer to this one, thanks.)