Tuesday, May 24, 2011
body of evidence
posing naked for a playboy spread
she was old, but she still was cool
when they wrapped right after midnight
and the crew went to the bar
norma jean just did the backstroke
like she was reachin' for a falling star
beautiful swimmers know how to move
floatin' cross the water like a steel guitar
beautiful swimmers stay in the groove
riding constant currents near and far
reports of my imminent demise are premature.
after a thorough (cough) physical today, it turns out i'm not (quite) as
unhealthy as it appeared last week.
during last week's routine doctor visit, my blood glucose was "pre-diabetic." today it was in the normal range.
last week, my cholesterol numbers were too low, too high, and too bad. today a fasting blood draw suggested less atherosclerotic levels. (this is the difference between a "fasting" blood draw and a post-bacchanalia draw.)
last week the scale said my weight was at an all-time high. we're talking morbidly obese. prompting me to elevate my blubber threat level to fat-con 5. today the same scale said i was 11 pounds less. no, i did not lose 11 pounds in a week.
so, was the discrepancy human error, or a message from the cosmos?
i'm taking it as the latter. which is to say, it's time for some behavior modification and bacchanalia moderation.
summer swimsuit season is just a couple months away, after all.
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