Friday, March 23, 2012
oh, yay : day
that's what the tweet said, but the exclamation point was disingenuous. i wasn't excited about it. at all.
still, it had to be done, and there was no need to set a bad example. or to make it seem worse than it was.
okay, drinking a quick gallon of gastrointestinal drano was unpleasant. and yes, the results were slightly alarming ("i don't remember eating that!").
doesn't matter. part of the process.
you know what else is part of the process? "conscious sedation." that's where the patient is whacked out on versed to the point that they allow a tube and a light and a camera to go where such things are not generally welcome.
most patients, i was informed, sleep through the whole thing. others remain chatty during the procedure~~though they don't remember the conversation (or the procedure) later.
apparently i was chatty. the nurse says it went something like this:
me (reading monitor): my blood pressure is 110 over 74...that's pretty good, right?
they: yes, it is.
me (still reading monitor): my heart rate is 45 beats per minute. that's pretty low, right?
they: yes, it is.
me (recalling a random point on the patient information sheet): so, i really can't have wine with dinner tonight?
they: push a little more versed on mr. miller, please...
i remember none of these things. i don't think they really happened.
but you know, as confirmed earlier, a bp of 110 over 74 and a resting heart rate of 45 bpm are pretty darn good. more importantly, the exam revealed just one small polyp~~benign.
so, to commemorate what we've forgotten, ameliorate that which we'd rather forget, and celebrate the blessing of good health...
tonight's bland, easy-to-digest dinner will be accompanied by one (1) very good glass of wine.