Saturday, January 12, 2008

past ostentatious, on to vulgar

there's no way to sugar-coat this thing, so i'm just gonna come out with it, kinda like ripping the band-aid off quickly:

tomorrow i'm flying to miami for a national sales meeting.

wait, there's more.

we're all staying at the ritz-carlton, south beach.

there. it's out. and some of you are prolly saying, "lucky son of a mother somethin' somethin'." can't blame you. the idea of it doesn't suck.

but here's the thing...i don't particularly feel like going. for me, there's no dressing up business travel. no matter how much lipstick you put on that pig, you're still working. you're still "on" at all times, even during the expensive dinners, when you'd like to be diving into the exquisite bottles of red wine that cost three times what you'd ever spend on your own dime.

you can't get too loud, or too silly, or act like you're enjoying it too much, because...well, because it just ain't a good career move.

the fact is, the company had an amazing year. if ever a bunch of people had reason to celebrate success, this is it. furthermore, 2008 and beyond looks pretty darn good as well. so maybe the circumstances and the fabulous venue will spark some kind of wild, spontaneous funfest.

it would be entirely justified.

here's another thing. the ritz-carlton, south beach, in the middle of winter. just using those words, in that particular order, costs thousands of dollars. the ritz people own the rights, after all, and can charge any damn thing they want, because people will pay it. which makes this a very expensive post.

i'm trying to imagine making the kind of money it'd take to be able to come to the ritz-carlton, south beach, in the middle of winter (tm), and not worry about how much it costs. me, i'd be scurrying around like a howler monkey trying to squeeze every bit of value out of every waking second, in a vain attempt to justify the expense. in fact, i'd forego sleep entirely in that pursuit, necessitating a post-vacation recovery vacation.

my imagination, at its most vivid, pales next to the splendor that is the ritz-carlton, south beach, in the middle of winter (tm).

you know what? to hell with it. i'm gonna get into the spirit of this thing and get a little crazy. i'm gonna wear the comfy robe. and work out at the wondiferous fitness center. and maybe even entertain a foo-foo beach drink with an umbrella in it.

i will do these things, not for myself you understand, but for others. i will do this despite the fact that, at the end of the day, it is still business travel. and as god is my witness...i will never stay at a holiday inn express again.

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