Monday, May 18, 2009

rubbed wrong

i got a massage yesterday.

that's the good news.

the downside was the discovery that my body is sore from the base of my skull to the top of my feet. everywhere i was poked and prodded, it was another revelation.

ankles, check. calves, ow. quadriceps? yee-ouch. neck, and the thrumming wires running up from the middle of my back? can i get some morphine and a towel to chew on?

the weird thing is, i wasn't even aware of all this lurking aggravation until it was pointedly brought to my attention. how does that work? i realize i'm getting old, but that can't be the only explanation.

i'm diligently trying to formulate some kind of diagnosis, sitting here at my computer, in between meetings and e-mails and phone calls and not moving around for hours at a time. yes, as a matter of fact, i can say 'deep vein thrombosis'.

according to the national institute of health...

Muscle pain is most frequently related to tension, overuse, or muscle injury from exercise or physically demanding work. In these situations, the pain tends to involve specific muscles and starts during or just after the activity. It is usually obvious which activity is causing the pain.
nowhere in the article does it day anything about pain you aren't even aware of. maybe i need a different online resource for that? something like 'the journal of modern psychosis' perhaps?

but back to that nih muscle pain thing...

The most common causes are:
• Injury or trauma including sprains and strains
• Overuse: using a muscle too much, too soon, too often
• Tension or stress
tension or stress? i got both of those, in buckets. i mean, it's not fighting-for-your-life-in-baghdad tension or stress, but it ain't your garden variety, "which mercedes should i drive to work today?" angst, either.

what's the nih say about clinical inertia alternating with paralytic dread? what causes that comorbidity? on that they're less helpful. i bet ibuprophen isn't part of that protocol.


• Warm up before exercising and cool down afterward.
• Stretch before and after exercising.
• Drink lots of fluids before, during, and after exercise.
• If you work in the same position most of the day (like sitting at a computer), stretch at least every hour.
that's helpful. thanks, fellas.

acupuncture? rolfing? watching the mariners blow another game?

no more massage. sometimes the affliction is preferable to the cure.

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