Saturday, June 13, 2009

hang up and drive...

show of hands: who here has been ticketed for CPTWD (cell-phone-talking while driving)?

besides me, i mean.

my day was going so well, too. it was friday, it was sunny, and it was nearly beer o'clock. i had some time at lunch, so i was headed to nordstrom rack to check out the deeply discounted close-out items. because i never pay retail.

the phone rang, it was the neighbor calling. was she wanting to schedule family pizza night, as is our wont on fridays? let's find out. "hello? this and that, yada yada, bla bla bla...hang on, there's a motorcycle cop behind me. hang on, he's telling me to turn off my cell phone. hang on, he's pulling me over. i gotta go."

i pulled into the parking lot at the mall. taking stock...was i talking on the phone while driving? yes, i was. did i commit some other egregious infraction? i have no idea. this is an important question, as washington state cops aren't supposed to pull you over just for phoning-while-driving.

here he comes..."sir, you were going a little too fast, and you were talking on your phone. license please."

i couldn't think of a thing to say. so i cleverly replied, "i see. sure..." he was impressed by my quick-witted repartee, i bet.

here he comes again. "registration, please, sir."

this and that, yada yada, bla bla's your very expensive ticket for phone talking. have a nice day.

and, there he goes. folks, how about a hand for the nice man with the gun?

let's assess the damage...$124 for the phone thing, ticket for speeding? hang on...i mean, that's the whole premise for the pull-over. don't get me wrong, i'm happy not to have the gift-with-purchase. but why the one, but not the other? was it my winning smile? my charming demeanor? uh-huh. sure it was.

still perplexed about the mysteries of law enforcement, and with the contents of my entire glove box strewn about the front of the car, i made my way to nordstrom rack.

but as much as i like finding a bargain, my heart wasn't in it. suddenly anything i might've bought was an additional $124. that's like paying retail plus dealer mark-up. which is no deal at all.

i left empty-handed.

now i have to figure out how to recoup the fine and get back to even. or reconcile myself to a really expensive pack of gum. something.

how much is one of those bluetooth hands-free earpiece devices? those must be at least $124, don'tcha think?

i can probably got one of those at work.

for free.

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