Thursday, January 21, 2010

monkey business

in light of recent events, i'd like to share a little gem that i meditate on nearly every day...

"no matter how responsible he seems, never give your gun to a monkey."

i don't know what it means, but it sounds profound. and it applies to so many of life's little adventures.

the people of massachusetts just gave their gun to a monkey.

the supreme court just blew a big hole in our democracy by giving its gun to a bunch of multinational corporate monkeys. the court is now a wholly owned subsidiary of r.j. reynolds and exxon-mobil, and will wear the appropriate logo patches on their robes.

john edwards gave his gun to a loon. and now he has a new daughter to show for it. meanwhile, mrs. edwards is quietly loading her gun.

jesus doesn't endorse guns.

barack obama entrusted healthcare to a bunch of monkeys. they tossed it around like american tourister luggage.

air america broadcasting has been disarmed.

in alaska it's bad form to bring a gun to a food fight. there's a sarah palin joke here somewhere.

children shouldn't play with guns. or commit armed robbery. that's just not funny.

coyotes don't carry guns. which means they'll not fare well in the coming confrontation with humans in our neighborhood. farewell, coyotes.

play it out any way you like, guns and monkeys don't play nicely together. and yet somehow that's the combination we get over and over (and over) again. it's like the adults have left the room and left bonzo in charge. it's like lord of the flies meets jungle book. it's like we hit the evolutionary glass ceiling and now we're headed the other direction.

"no matter how responsible he seems, never give your gun to a monkey."


No comments: