Sunday, February 07, 2010


super bowl sunday is a threat to america's security.

because while everybody in america is sitting goggle-eyed in front of their televisions, nefarious non-watchers have free rein to run amok.

first off, what kind of people don't watch the super bowl? it's an american institution, watched over by god, who has a big stake in the office pool. if you're not watching, you must be up to no good. unless you're on a beer run, of course. even then, you're guilty of poor planning.

the country is conditioned from birth to participate in this ritual. if you don't participate, others look at you with suspicion.

full disclosure: i didn't watch the game. i saw one uneventful play at the end of the first quarter, then went on a multi-state crime spree.

no one noticed.

No comments: