sensational!

journalism isn't dead.

not at all! it's merely alive in a different form: newszombie! the cool thing about this news is, it eats your brains!

don't take my word for it!

"kill the killer whale?" soul-searchingly asks, "should we kill the intelligent animals we hold captive for our entertainment and profit?"

"seaworld suspending all of its killer whale shows today after after one of the park's star attractions turned on its trainer and killed her in front of a horrified audience...hln news shows are asking viewers if the whale involved in wednesday's incident should be put down."

did you feel it? part of your brain was just consumed! you'll never get it back again!

but wait...there's more!

"what caused killer whale to attack?" wants you to believe that a bloodthirsty animal viciously turned on its trainer.

"Trainer Dawn Brancheau understood the power of SeaWorld's biggest killer whale better than most. She worked with Tilikum for more than 10 years. Yet on Wednesday, as she stood knee deep in water rubbing the massive animal's head as a reward for a good training session, he turned on her."

chompchompchomp...no, that's not the whale having a snack, that's newszombie eating more of your brain!

"gatorade dumps tiger woods" is a lurid tale of a major brand cynically used by another major brand, then callously tossed aside.

"We no longer see a role for Tiger in our marketing efforts and have ended our relationship," a Gatorade spokesman said Friday in a statement. "We wish him all the best."

gatorade contains high-fructose corn syrup which has been linked to obesity, high cholesterol and heart disease. so, the tiger brand got dumped by the brand that contributes to death and disease all over the world. "yes, but our fine beverages have never had sex with porn stars, strippers and escorts," said the spokesperson. "we just can't be associated with that kind of behavior."

slurpslurpslurp...

on an encouraging final note, congressional republicans have finally come up with a substantive proposal for healthcare reform. let's roll the newszombie video on this plan...



are you clear on the plan? "let's start over, from a clean sheet of paper, scrap the bill, go step by step, and start over."

it was not widely reported, but the plan also calls for zombies to eat the brains of anyone with pre-existing conditions, anyone who gets sick, and anyone not covered by dick cheney's health plan.

the 24-hour newszombie. burp...ahhh!

i read the news today...

bad things are happening.

i know, that theme is getting tiresome, but the hits just keep on coming.

yesterday it was the report that another major daily newspaper is up for sale and in imminent danger of shutting down.

that's bad enough, because the same thing has been happening to papers all over the country. old, venerable publications that have for generations kept an eye on government and criminals (often one and the same) and the many pillars of our national infrastructure.

previously it was the chicago tribune declaring bankruptcy. the rocky mountain news, for sale and facing closure after 149 years. the miami herald, on the block after 105 years. the herald and the bristol press in connecticut. pop, pop, pop, like soap bubbles, one after another.

across the country, publishers have made deep cuts in staff and entered into last-ditch joint operating agreements with other papers. the st. louis post dispatch. the atlanta journal-constitution. the helena independent-record. the tulsa world. the kansas city star. the raleigh news and observer. the fort worth star-telegram. the litany goes on and on, reading like a list of battleships slowly sinking to the bottom.

that's all bad enough (and it is very bad) -- but this time it's at our front porch. the seattle post-intelligencer, one of the two seattle dailies, is on the brink of winking out after 146 years. the paper is for sale, with 60 days to find a buyer.

"If no buyer emerges, the paper would either become a Web-only publication or cease all operations. P-I employees were silent as they listened to the announcement, which lasted about 10 minutes. Some shed tears. Others held up cell phones or voice recorders in news-conference fashion. Phones rang unanswered and the police scanner buzzed on."

there are about 100 different reasons why media consolidation and contraction is bad for our experiment in democracy. one of the worst is control of information by a handful of corporate entities that may have no interest in reporting actual news. how would it be, for example, if rupert murdoch and his ilk ran the media in the world's major markets? all fox news, all the time. that prospect would be worse than no news at all...

"In a report this week, corporate-ratings agency Fitch predicted that some newspapers and newspaper groups are likely to default on their debt in 2009 — possibly leaving some cities with no daily newspaper."

wearing the obvious-hat just a bit longer, it comes to this: if there are fewer and fewer independent news-gathering sources around, who will collect and announce the news? what will the quality and veracity of that news be? who will keep an eye on those who richly deserve to be watched?

sunshine is the best disinfectant -- which explains why today it feels like the creeping crud inched closer to our collective front door.

* * * * *

unrelated-but-related update: boeing will lay off 4,500 workers, most of them in the puget sound region.